


Cold Black Cloud is Comin' Down

by treefrogie84



Series: Take the love that I've embraced [1]
Category: Supernatural, Wayward Sisters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Post-Episode: s13e10 Wayward Sisters, Song fic, fresh and naked grief, post-MCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treefrogie84/pseuds/treefrogie84
Summary: Wayward Sisters episode coda. Claire talks to someone else who lost everything.





	Cold Black Cloud is Comin' Down

“I _get_ it, Jody. Jesus.” Claire stomps away, slides out the back door and onto the deck. Dean’s already out there, staring out into the darkness, like it has any fucking answers. She’s tried that. It doesn’t.

“Are you gonna tell me to get over it?” She snaps when he looks up. “I mean, Jody and Donna are acting like I’m either gonna rush head first into hunting or pine away like some fucking damsel.”

“Do you want me to?” Dean sighs, looks back down at the glass in his hand. “I can.”

“I _want_ for everyone to quit worrying about me. I’m fine.” Her hand clenches at her side, nails digging into her palm. “I’m _fine_.”

Dean nods, taking a sip of whatever’s in his glass. She can hear the clink of ice cubes, but the light is dim enough that she’s not sure what he’s drinking. Bourbon probably, that’s what Jody tends to keep in the house that’s not wine or beer. “You’re fine. And you’ll continue to be fine. Because that’s what we do, right?”

“Yeah.” Claire blows out a breath, shivering slightly and leans against the rail next to Dean. “Mom-- my actual mom-- she… ‘It’ll be better in the morning.’ Like that’s ever _not_ been a crock of shit. Because it sure as hell hasn’t been. For days.”

Dean nods, silent.

“I don’t know what else to _do_ beside hunt. Everything--” She cuts herself off, whispers “When does it get easier?”

“If I knew the answer to that, do you think I’d be standing out here?” He hesitates a moment before wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into an awkward hug and passing her his glass at the same time. “God, Claire, I just…” he trails off for a moment. “I don’t think it does. It hasn’t yet, every fucking time.”

“That’s not fair.” Part of her wants to move away, to stand on her own two feet again. She should be able to do that. She doesn’t-- Biting back the sob, she twists out from under his arm.

“Nothing about this is fair. It never has been.” He doesn’t try to hug her again, doesn’t even steal back his glass. “When Sam died-- the first time-- it felt like failure. Because I’d failed. It didn’t matter then, or now, that the entire fucking deck had been stacked against us, they would have killed him somehow or another just to goad me into making a deal.”

“I don’t--”

He keeps going, talking over her. “When Cas died, it wasn’t failure. Failure you can recover from, ya know? But losing Cas…” Dean shrugs, eyes darting away, watching the darkness. “I didn’t even realize it until it was too late.”

“But he came back,” she says, not bothering to hide the bitterness. “You got him back. She won’t.”

“Or she will, and you just need to work towards it.”

“Dean, I…” Claire blows out a breath, leans back against the rail again, accepting his arm around her. “How do you do it?”

Dean inhales, holds it for a moment before blowing it out. “Friend of Bobby’s called it being professional. I’m pretty sure he was wrong, but. ‘Decide to be fine till the end of the week. Make yourself smile because you're alive and that's your job. Then do it again the next week.’”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Are you gonna give up? Curl up into a ball and let the grief wash you away? Quit hunting, go to college?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what other option is there?” Dean huffs, steals his glass back and tosses the last of the bourbon back. His face looks bleak in the half-light from the kitchen behind them and she realizes that she’s not the only one out here because being in there is just too much. “You’ve got a family, Claire. Let them take care of you for a bit before it eats you alive.”

“Is that what you do?”

“You don’t wanna be me,” he says flatly. “Nearly ended the world because I couldn’t let my brother die. Didn’t make a deal for Cas only because no one would deal with me. Gotta thank Crowley for something, I guess. You can do this, Claire. I promise.”

The sob that’s been building breaks free. Turning to face him, she buries her face in Dean’s shoulder and _sobs_. Dean wraps his arms around her, lets her cry, humming some old song that she’s heard Jody sing in the kitchen after a bad day at work.

[ _Mama, put my guns in the ground_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJpB_AEZf6U)

[ _I can't shoot them anymore_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJpB_AEZf6U)

**Author's Note:**

> I swear, one of these days, i will write the part where Claire gets Kaia back. Just... not this month.
> 
> oops, i just noticed the request to ID which ep the song was in: 2.13 Houses of the Holy and 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon


End file.
